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In my wilder moments I sometimes tell people that I play golf. They may well conjure up images in their heads of Jack Nicklaus and myself laughing together over the round we just played, but the truth is that actually you’ll probably find me crying in a patch of overgrown wilderness with my club wrapped firmly round a sycamore and a score card that looks more like a selection of lottery numbers. Jack Nicklaus, on the other hand, who has never heard of me, is the renowned world champion golfer, and is quite good at it. I bet he’s never had an encounter with a sycamore and a patch of thistles.

When he’s not hitting birdies and eagles, Jack tends to also excel at designing golf courses, and he’s created quite a few. I just read somewhere that he has recently designed nine full courses for Polaris World. They’re all laid out nearby each other so that the lucky residents get to play through 162 holes. The article didn’t say how many sycamores there are on the course, but I’m pretty sure I’d fine most of them pretty quickly. Still, at least the lakes would be pretty to look at while wondering whether to risk diving in to find my ball. There is certainly something to be said for a lifestyle which involves living in luxurious Spanish properties, constantly bathed in sunshine, with enough golf to last a lifetime.

I have some neighbours that live near me, as neighbours tend to do, and they seem to live in Spain more than they do here. I can understand that – they always seem to come back happy and tanned, and it makes me wonder why I don’t do the same thing. When I look out of my window at rows of other houses all soaked with cold rain and bathed in grey gloom the idea of moving to a sunny resort like Spain does have its appeal, but then, it always seems to be other people that actually get on and do these sorts of things. For me though, what really caught my attention was the fact that some companies, like Polaris World that advertise on television, have made golf the real focal point.

The golf course near me recently got flooded. We have a torrent of rain for a couple of days and the whole place became a pond. It’s dried out now, but for weeks the whole place was damp and boggy, and a fairly unpleasant place to play. Golf isn’t traditionally a messy sport. If you want to come home caked with mud you either play rugby or take up mud wrestling. Golf is a nice clean sport. Not at my local course it hasn’t been – just walking around you get filthy, and if you end up digging up the rough or wandering from sandy bunker to grassy embankments you end up needing to throw your entire outfit in the wash after a round.

So I have started thinking about the idea of moving to Spain and becoming a part of the lifestyle and culture we see advertised on television. I can’t just be me that thinks that the idea of walking down the steps from my stylish apartment, casually looking out to see to watch the cruise ships roll by whilst trying to decide which of the nine golf courses to play today, sounds like a good way to live life. What is also tempting me at the moment is that many of these overseas companies are offering free trips, so that you can see for yourself what it’s like. Apparently they’ll even let you play a round of golf. I feel less white just thinking about it.

I’ve been aware for a long time that with property prices in this country on the rise that my house would be worth a fair sum. After I started taking these adverts more seriously, and checked out the prices, I couldn’t believe what I could get for my money over there. I could sell my house and buy two luxury apartments in Spain, or a fabulous villa. Straight away I started fantasizing about my own pool somehow, I am starting to like the idea of getting wet, but not due to the rain.

I know that the idea of moving there sounds too much like hassle, but then I keep looking out of my window at the gloom and grey, and think about how I get up in the morning. You know, I don’t even bother to open the curtains sometimes. There’s nothing much to look at except grey skies, gloomy faces and the rain dripping off the gutters onto the muddy patch that I laughably refer to as my garden. But I have an image in my head of how I would feel waking up in my own villa in Spain. From one window I would be able to look across at the ponderous mountains as they yawn their way towards the purple haze of the horizon, and in the other direction I would watch the yachts skip across the cheerful blue ocean. Apparently the sea is blue over there – imagine that, clear blue water on your doorstep that doesn’t mean you’ve been flooded.

And then I have to think again about the fact that these companies are actually offering free trips to try it out! I never considered myself a potential overseas property buyer, but really, I can’t think of any really good reasons why not. I work from home myself, like many people do these days. With the increased use of technology so many people become flexible about where they work, that moving to another country is not as hard as it once used to be. The fact that all these television adverts and brochures are targeting us in this country means that they have excellent links and support, and have provided the service to so many people before that the whole process is well orchestrated. I’m very tempted – but then, you would be, wouldn’t you? Especially if you play golf better than I do.

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