Flipping Houses Is Not For Sissies.
The world is a dangerous place and one of the most dangerous places is the television room. You see, television made my house collapse.
I was watching one of those renovations shows on television: Someone buys this little bungalow for a song then spends some money and some elbow grease renovating it. Then he or she sells the place for a huge amount of money. It looked so easy: Within an hour, the house is purchased, gutted and back on the market with nary a splinter or banged thumb. How hard can flipping houses?
Well, I’m no dummy. I know there is a lot you don’t see on those shows. You don’t see how long a project actually takes in terms of work hours. There are whole teams of people coming in on the shows, in some cases round the clock. Plus they are professionals who know every little trick to save time and money.
I also know that these shows don’t show you everything that happens during the project. Sure, you see them taking the first swing of the hammer and the strain of moving out the heavy furniture. But they don’t show you how they accidentally broke the china cabinet. Or how the “burnt sienna” paint looked closer to “hunter orange” on the wall.
They also don’t tell you that the person doing the flipping has been doing this for 20 years or more and knows how to do every task in the project. Or that he has friends who can do the parts he is less familiar with. Or that the show’s staff has all the connections needed to make the project sail swimmingly along.
No. They don’t tell you all that. They make it all look so easy. And at the end, the family stands at the end, all smiling and happy. They don’t tell you about the arguments that took place when the wife found her kitchen all torn apart. Or when she was told it would take “a little extra time” to fix it.
Well, I’m telling you about all these things now. So you don’t have to go through what I did. I was watching one of those shows and I thought, “Well, if they gut a whole house. I sure can expand our kitchen a bit.”
I had always thought that by removing the wall between the kitchen and dining room, the whole area would be so much more open. I thought it would be a big surprise for my wife. So one weekend, when she was out with the girls, I got started.
I took a sledge hammer and took out that wall.
Another thing they didn’t mention on those shows: Taking out load bearing walls can make the house collapse. I’m telling you now.
And that’s how television can make your house collapse.
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