5 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Wife When it Comes to Oktoberfest.
#5: Oh Those Bavarian Women.
Every German woman who shows up at the Oktoberfest with a Bavarian costume makes you feel like you’ve been transported back in time, except that time never really existed, because there was never really a period where people wore clothes like this that also showed off their chests so incredibly well. You will lose your mind.
#4: An Endless Flow of Beer.
If you’re in any other bar in the world, and you get up to even half the crap you’re able to pull off in a typical Oktoberfest tent, you will be immediately ejected by some gruff, crazy bouncers wondering how you managed to even last that long. Not in Munich.
#3: The Music is Amazing/Awful.
While you might not enjoy singing along to ‘I Will Survive’ under normal circumstances, doing so in the context of Oktoberfest often becomes ridiculously fun. Once you’ve got up on a bench, danced with a beautiful Bavarian 20-something, and done the YMCA dance with a liter of beer in your hand, you’ll appreciate why the music is so corny and perfect, all at once.
#2: The Security is Ridiculous.
For some reason you will never see a damn fight in Oktoberfest, because someone back some years ago realized that creating a festival devoted entirely to beer (instead of to sport, or food, or something other excuse people use to get drunk) would result in some rowdy-ass people. As a result the security is tighter, faster, and harder than you’ve ever seen in your life.
#1: It’s Entirely Devoted to Beer.
Sure, there are wine festivals, fancy beer festivals, vodka festivals — all that stuff. But nowhere in the world is there a massive, massive party entirely devoted to consuming beer in big quantities, with other people, in tents. It is the apotheosis of everything great about beer in the first place, the camaraderie, the silly excitement, the fatty foods — enshrined in the best festival ever created.
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