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Going through a break up is a horrible emotional experience. If you have ever heard the song “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum, if you haven’t I suggest giving it a listen, it’s a fantastic song. In the song the characters are going through all the pain of a break up and making a lot of mistakes.

One of the lines in the song states: “It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now. Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now.” Mistake number 1, desperate dialing!

Here is another line: “It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now.” Drunk dialing is even worse. The other mistake that is often made is texting the ex, and texting and more texting. You become what is called a Text Terrorist. That will not work either.

What should you do to get your ex back?

First ask yourself a very personal question, and be open minded about it. Do I really want him or her back? Make sure there is a real and true love there, and that you are not just reacting to the situation.

So did you answer: Yes I want my ex back! If so there is a process for you to follow.

You Will Not Want To Do What Is Expected

Being predictable is the last the last thing you want to be at a this time. You want to keep your ex guessing and working to worm his or her way back into your good graces. Keep them on their toes and he’ll keep coming back for more.

How do you avoid doing something that is expected? Break out of that day to day thing you do. Now is the time to spice things up and add some different, fun and fresh activities to your days.

Put Some Relationship Goals in Place

Even if you are separated goals can still be set. When you are trying to get your ex back, the goals are a vital part of the process. Goals should be set for different degrees of closeness and affection between the two of you and then achieving those goals is key.

Here is a list of goals you will want to consider: reaching emotional milestones, making physical changes and being able to control your temper to start with. It will be up to you to choose the type of goals that pertain to your relationship.

Take Responsibility and Hold Yourself Accountable For Successes and Failures

Accountability seems to be something that is in short supply these days. It’s vital to make sure you hold yourself accountable for failing to meet goals. At the same time you need to reward yourself big time for achieving those goals.

Reward and punishment are great motivators. Use them well. Some rewards you might consider are new hair styles, new video games, or even a night on the town with friends. Be sure that you’re doing things to encourage an active lifestyle whenever possible. You don’t want to exacerbate existing problems by creating potential health problems along the way.

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